


Nary a Breath Out of Sync

by TheCheshireBird



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Mutual Pining, Oneshot, Pining, can be read as both tos and aos, maybe I'll come back and add on but it's unlikely, no other characters really make an appearance, probably, to be honest it's just jim simping for spock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26654416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCheshireBird/pseuds/TheCheshireBird
Summary: Kirk pines away for his vulcan first officer.
Relationships: James T. Kirk & Spock, James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 4
Kudos: 61





	Nary a Breath Out of Sync

It was a well-known fact on the Enterprise that the Captain and First Officer were in love. It was never mentioned out loud, the crew never truly spoke of it to anyone who hadn’t served on the ship, after all, there was that unfortunate fact that a relationship between two people of different ranks was frowned upon by the majority of Starfleet.

The two succeeded in being mostly professional, there were, of course, shared glances that were a little too long, those fleeting touches even when there was no need for any contact, the two’s lingering closeness, even the non-Vulcan approved brushing of fingers. Anyone who observed them for even a short period of time could see it.

The two revolved around each other, as though they were caught in each other’s gravity. It was rare that one was seen without the other. In time, it was no longer ‘Captain Kirk’ and ‘Mr. Spock’ as separate beings but ‘Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock’. The crew shared knowing glances, and those so inclined to romance dreamed of a time someone would look at them the way the Captain and their First Officer looked at each other. To any outside observer, it was a perfect match.

And yet, in practice, things rarely worked out so perfectly.

The truth is always more difficult than fantasy, Jim thought to himself, as he stared out into the vastness of space, sitting upon his captain’s chair. He was aware of the crew’s misconception, it was hard to miss, seeing as they weren’t even trying to be subtle with their “innocuous” winks and nudges. It was probably a good thing Spock, who often ignored human oddities, would be likely to brush it off as idle, human, chitter-chatter. After all, there was nothing that he could say to explain their relationship. He himself wasn’t too sure what their relationship was. They were something more than friends, but something that fell short of lovers. 

He sighed. It was true he wanted something more, to be able to freely say what he felt for his Spock. Was it wrong of him to think of Spock as his? While he was his First Officer, Spock was his own person and Jim had no right to think of him that way. It should be ‘his First Officer’ or ‘Spock’. Jim shook his head. He shouldn’t, no, couldn’t allow himself to think of Spock as his own. It would lead someplace he could not go.

They were so close, and yet not close enough. He was Spock’s closet friend on the Enterprise, even if Spock wouldn’t allow himself to ignore Vulcan customs and say it aloud. Jim could tell Spock cared for him. Maybe not in the exact same way Jim cared for Spock, but he did care. It was something tangible. Jim could feel it. He could feel it when Spock’s eyebrow would raise and his eyes would twinkle in amusement, and Jim could see a twitching of the lip that Spock would no doubt deny, and Jim would be frozen, taking in the beauty of the scene, the beauty of Spock’s face, making sure to remember every detail. He didn’t have a perfect memory, but for these moments he would certainly try.

Jim left the bridge, his shift over. As he walked through the door to his quarters, he thought longingly about a future that still could be.


End file.
